Psalm 109: Deal with Me

Hurt can make us say some things we would not normally say. It has a way of bringing out of us some things that we would rather stay hidden within us. The wounding of our hearts can make us feel the most vulnerable and the most isolated, but it can also cause us to become the most honest. 

Psalm 109 is another psalm of David. We do not know what season of his life it was written in, but we discover quickly, that it was not while he was “living his best life.” It begins with a plea to God, “Be not silent, O God of my praise!” This opening line is a regular feature in the lament psalms, signaling that what we are about to read will be a prayer or a cry for help in a time of trouble. Whatever was happening in David’s life caused him not only pain, but the fear of not being heard. His hurt raised questions about God’s nearness. 

I have done the same. There is a temptation to believe that the nearness of God translates into an ease of life. While we prosper God must be near, but when there is a disappointment, an unexpected loss, a heart-breaking betrayal or an all-out attack on our character we cry out to God, assuming that this is all happening because He must be far off. We quote verses like Psalm 34:18, “The LORD is near to the broken-hearted” as if God were far off when the heartbreak happened but came running to try to put things back together. Paul’s encouragement, in Philippians 4:5, “The Lord is at hand” was based upon Jesus’ promise to the apostles, that extends to all of us that are in Christ, “I am with you always”. Jesus is as present while our hearts are being broken as He is when He is putting them back together. He is as near in our pain as He is in our prosperity. He is not the God who visits us, He is “God with us”. We do not ever have to call for God, as if He is far off, but we can continually call on Him. He is with us, He is for us and by the infilling of the Holy Spirit, He is in us. 

The tone of the psalm is like many laments, David tells God about the trouble he is enduring. He writes about the words that are being spoken against him. He is being lied about, attacked by hate and accused unfairly. His answer is “I give myself to prayer”, but in that prayer he cannot help himself from explaining further to God what is being done to him, “they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.” His prayers are sincere, but his hurt is heavy. 

And then the tone changes and everything escalates quickly. I am not sure if David is speaking literally or figuratively, but he speaks in legal terms, he wants his enemy tried and found guilty and then he wants him punished severely. The next verses, as David describes the punishment, he wants his enemy to receive are uncomfortable, at times even difficult to read. He wants the man killed, his wife to be a widow and his children to become orphans. It goes from vengeful to harsh, bordering on unconscionable as David describes how he wants the children of his enemies to become beggars, struggling to find food and turned away, offered no kindness or pity. He wants the man’s name blotted out, his parents to be judged, his every existence forgotten. C.S. Lewis wrote that verses 7-15 are “like the heat from a furnace mouth”. They are the sound of hurt and anger, of revenge and rejection, of pain and betrayal. These words are what the wounds of our hearts can sound like.

You, like me, might be wondering why these words were written. Why is the ranting of David’s wounded heart included in the canon of Scripture? How could this have been inspired by the Holy Spirit and in what way could it be useful? Earlier I mentioned that this is a psalm of lament, but it is also one of at least 14 imprecatory psalms. An imprecatory psalm is one that calls for specific judgments to fall on the enemy. Their usefulness is that they are truthful and transparent. David was not being careful with his words, he was not trying to say the right thing, he was not afraid of how God might view him, he was letting God see him in his darkest places. We all know that God knows us, that our hairs are numbered, that nothing is hidden from Him, but there is a difference between being known and making ourselves known. This psalm teaches us that someone else’s bitter tongue can lead to our own wounded heart, that words have incredible impact and that our brokenness is not something we need to ignore, but sometimes we have to walk through it to get free from it. 

David did not stay in that place of hurt and vengeance. It was the expression of his wounds that kept his heart from becoming hard, by giving his pain a voice he also gave God and invitation to do more than work for him, but to work in him. The hinge of the entire psalm is found in verse 21, “But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name’s sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver me!” I love the way the New King James Version translates this verse, “But You, O GOD the Lord, Deal with me for your name’s sake . . .” It is as if David suddenly prayed, “I want you to deal with my enemy, but I need you to deal with me. I want vengeance, but I need healing. I want to be vindicated, but I need to be made whole.” 

The prayer changed, but so did the focus. David first wanted his enemy to be dealt with according to his sin, but now he wants to be dealt with according to God’s name, His character, His will, His, are you ready for that word again, hesed (steadfast love). A wonderful friend of mine, David Cohen, reminded me yesterday of Psalm 32, where David says to and of God, “you are my hiding place”. God is not the place we go to hide in, He hides us. We do not run to Him, He surrounds us, which means, if we belong to Him through faith in Jesus the Messiah, we are always surrounded and hidden. Think of it this way, in light of Psalm 109, while I am being hated, God is loving me. While I am being betrayed, God reminds me that I have been accepted. While I am being lied about, the Spirit of truth lives in me. I am surrounded, I am hidden, the steadfast love (hesed) of God cannot be broken and will not be lost. It may not keep my heart from being wounded, but it will heal every wound of my heart. 

And so, cry out, be honest, open the dark places of your heart so that the light of God’s love can shine on you and from you. Remember that God desires “truth in the inward parts” (Psalm 51:6 NKJV). He is not asking us to be careful but to be honest, not to say what we think He wants to hear but tell Him what we need to say. God only exposes what He desires to heal, and He cannot change what we will not confess. I think David knew that he had to empty his heart to God before God could fully deal with his heart. Today, if you are broken, wounded, bitter or hardened, tell God the truth, express all your pain, your hurt, your disappointment, even your anger and frustration. And then ask Him to deal with you according to His character, to deal with you according to His plans, His desires to deal with you from His steadfast love. What David needed is what I need and what I dare say you need, what we all need; not for his enemies to be punished or his circumstances to change, but for his heart to know, to remember and believe that he was loved, that he was protected, that he was heard, that he was surrounded and hidden. Nothing done to us can change God’s position in, for or around us. Trust Him to deal with them but ask Him to deal with you. What He does in you will be a greater good than any harm that could ever be done to you. Do not minimize your hurt, express it, but then trust God to lead you through it. Do not deny your hurt, but do not forget you are loved, you are desired, you are surrounded.